Everyone’s heard of the five love languages. But did you know that the concept actually comes from a book?
Released in 1992, “The Five Love Languages” by Dr Gary Chapman was written as a framework to help couples understand how to care for their partners better.
According to Dr Chapman, the five love languages are:
- Gifts
- Acts of service
- Words of affirmation
- Physical touch
- Quality time
Let’s explore each a little further to better understand how they make someone feel beloved.
Gift giving isn’t necessarily about the price tag – it’s about the thought behind the gift. Giving, or receiving a meaningful present, big or small, makes these people feel valued and understood.
Actions speak louder than words for people with this love language. Doing something helpful, like cooking a meal or running an errand shows them love through effort and care.
These people feel most loved when they exchange kind, encouraging words. Compliments, heartfelt notes or a simple “I appreciate you” make them feel loved or help them express their own affection.
Hugs, hand-holding or a comforting caress are how these people express love. It’s all about feeling connected and literally close to their loved ones.
For these people, undivided attention is everything. Being fully present, having meaningful conversations or just hanging out together means the world to them.
Everyone expresses and receives love differently. Knowing your own love language – and your partner’s – can help you build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
So, are you curious about which love language speaks to you? Take our quiz below to find out!
For each question, pick the answer that feels most meaningful to you and make a note of the letter at the end of the answer. At the end, add up how many times you picked each letter to discover your primary love language.
1. You get a promotion at work and text your partner to tell them the good news. When you get home, which of these responses would make you feel the most loved?
- They’ve taken care of the evening’s chores and prepared a delicious meal for you (B)
- They’ve cleared their schedule for the evening and suggest taking a walk together to discuss your news in detail (E)
- They greet you with a heartfelt speech saying how proud they are of your hard work and dedication (C)
- They’ve created a scrapbook of your career journey so far, with a blank page ready for this new chapter (A)
- They welcome you home with a warm embrace (D)
2. It’s your birthday, and your partner wants to celebrate. What would make the day feel most special to you?
- A keepsake letter detailing exactly why they love and appreciate you (C)
- Slow dancing with your partner to your favourite song (D)
- A carefully chosen and beautifully wrapped book you once mentioned loving (A)
- Every detail of the day perfectly organised without you having to lift a finger (B)
- A full day dedicated to just the two of you, talking, laughing and making memories (E)
3. Your partner has been spending a lot of time on a new hobby. How do you show you care about their interests?
- Surprising them with a high-quality tool related to the new hobby (A)
- Expressing genuine admiration for their dedication and progress (C)
- Helping them organise their workspace to better accommodate their new interest (B)
- Set aside time to listen attentively as they explain their latest project (E)
- Joining them in their hobby, even if it’s not your thing, to share the experience (D)
4. You’ve had a tough day. What gesture would cheer you up the most?
- Receiving a bunch of your favourite flowers (A)
- Your partner listening to you vent (E)
- Your partner taking care of a few errands you’ve been putting off (B)
- A foot rub while you watch your favourite show (D)
- Being told how much you’re appreciated (C)
5. You’re about to try something new and exciting, like a class or course. What could your partner do to make you feel encouraged and supported?
- Cheer you on with a comforting hug and a high-five (D)
- Handle some of your usual responsibilities so you can focus on your new venture (B)
- Write you a note to say how proud they are of you for stepping out of your comfort zone (C)
- Help you study and discuss your course with you (E)
- Create a custom lucky charm for you to carry (A)
6. It’s a lazy Sunday and both you and your partner have absolutely no plans. What could make the day feel perfect?
- Going for a walk together and swapping compliments (C)
- Browsing your favourite store and picking out a small gift for each other (A)
- Spending the day deep cleaning your house together (B)
- Playing your favourite two-player game together (E)
- Making a pillow fort and snuggling up together (D)
7. How do you make sure your partner feels appreciated?
- By surprising them with a thoughtful little gift (A)
- By helping them with a chore they don’t enjoy (B)
- By telling them directly how much you value them (C)
- By holding their hand whenever possible (D)
- By regularly setting aside a day to spend together (E)
8. Your partner is feeling under the weather. How do you take care of them?
- You run them a bath to help them relax (B)
- You bring them a cosy blanket and some wholesome soup (A)
- You sit with them and keep them company, watching their favourite show or just chatting (E)
- You stay close by, offering cuddles and physical comfort (D)
- You reassure them with kind words to make them feel better (C)
9. What’s your biggest love language turn-off?
- Someone not communicating their feelings or ever giving compliments (C)
- Always being the one to organise everything (B)
- When your partner never remembers the kinds of gifts you like (A)
- Never getting someone’s full attention (E)
- Physical distance or lack of affection (D)
10. When you think about the person you love, what stands out the most?
- The physical connection you share (D)
- How they always say things that make you feel good about yourself (C)
- All the wonderful memories you’ve made together (E)
- The way they always go above and beyond to help you (B)
- They surprise you with gifts after you only mention something in passing (A)
Now just add up how many of each letter you got to discover your love language.
If you got mostly
A answers, you like to both show and receive love through gifts.
If you got mostly
B answers, you like to both show and receive love through acts of service.
If you got mostly
C answers, you like to both show and receive love through words of affirmation.
If you got mostly
D answers, you like to both show and receive love through physical touch.
If you got mostly
E answers, you like to both show and receive love through quality time.
Now that you’ve discovered your and your partner’s love languages, it’s time to show a little love this Valentine’s Day! And we’ve got the perfect gifts ready to help you express affection to any partner.
For those who love giving and receiving thoughtful presents, an
entertainment gift card is perfect. It’s a versatile treat that lets them enjoy their favourite shows, films and music, and shows that you truly understand their tastes.
The best way to show someone that you care when they have an act of service love language is to simplify their life. So why not take care of some of their everyday expenses, or give them the chance for a special treat by gifting them a
prepaid credit card? It’ll make their life a little easier, and show that you care.
A
mobile top-up is a thoughtful gift for anyone who values heartfelt communication. It helps them to stay connected with the people who matter most so they can exchange the kind, uplifting words that mean so much to them.
While nothing beats a warm hug, a
prepaid shopping card is a close second for people who value physical connection. It gives them the freedom to buy an item they truly love, which will serve as a reminder of your thoughtfulness every time they use it. In every tap on your phone or click on your mouse, you have the opportunity to show love with MobileTopUp.
Create moments to bond over by gifting people whose love language is quality time
vouchers for a game you can enjoy together! Choose a multiplayer game and play together, sharing laughs and making memories as you team up or compete.
Clear, open and honest communication is the foundation of all good relationships. So the first step in making the love language framework work for you is to tell your partner what you’ve learned. The second step is arguably even more important, though. Once you’ve learned to understand your own love language, it’s time to understand your partner’s.
Because you might be speaking two very different love languages. In fact, it’s likely that you are. According to
this study, love language alignment (when two halves of a couple speak the same love language) doesn’t really correlate with relationship satisfaction.
The true power of the love languages model isn’t really in how it helps you understand yourself. It’s in how it helps you understand the wants and needs of your partner, and how you can use that knowledge to adjust your behaviour. By learning how to do that, you’ll make sure your partner always feels loved, cherished and understood.
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